How Squidward Stole Christmas
by TheDarkMaster95
Summary: Here's a short Christmas gift for all my readers. Merry Christmas!


Everyone in Bikini Bottom loved Christmas a lot.

But Squidward Q. Tentacles who lived just in Bikini Bottom did not.

Squidward hated Christmas the whole Christmas thing.

Oh please don't ask why no one knows the reason.

It could be his shirt was on too tight. It could be his nose wasn't screwed on just right.

But I think that the most likely reason of all may have been that his heart was two sizes too small.

But whatever reason he stood next to his window hating the Bikini Bottom citizens.

Staring straight through his windows with a sour squidly thrown.

"There probably hanging their stockings!" Squidward said with a sour tone.

"Tomorrow is Christmas it's practically here!" Then he thought more to himself.

"I must stop Christmas from coming! For all I know everyone will be rushing into their living rooms on Christmas Day and they'll play with their toys for hours and I have to stand the noise. That's one thing that gets on my nervs! All the nose, nose, nose!"

"Then after that everyone in the town will have a feast. They'll feast and they'll feast and feast! They'll feast on kelp pudding and coral beef. Oh coral beef is just something I can't stand in a least!"

"And then they'll do something I hate most of all! Everyone down in Bikini Bottom will gather around the Christmas tree in the center of town for a song. Bells will be ringing and they'll start signing."

"I must stop this! I have been putting up with this since SpongeBob brought it here in 2000!"

"I must stop Christmas from coming! But how?"

Then he got an idea.

An awful idea.

Squidward had a wonderful awful idea!

"I know just what to do!" Squidward laughed in his throat.

"I'll make a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat!"

Then he giggled as he cut.

"What a great squidly trick! With this coat and this hat I'll look just like St. Nicholas."

 _You're a mean one._

 _Mr. Squidward._

 _Your really are a jerk!_

 _You've got poison in your soul._

 _You've got nematodes in your brain._

 _Mr. Squidward!_

 _I wouldn't touch you with…_

 _A 51 foot coral stick!_

"All I need is a reindeer." Squidward looked around but he couldn't find one anywhere but did that stop Squidward. Ha! No.

Squidward simply said "If I can't find a reindeer I'll make one instead."

So he got some tools and he prepared to make a reindeer.

 _You're a mean one._

 _Mr. Squidward._

 _You really are a jerk!_

 _You're heart's a bottomless hole!_

 _You've got all the cleverness of a gigantic dolphin._

 _Mr. Squidward!_

 _You're a spoiled apple with..._

 _A dumpster smell!_

So after he finished building his reindeer he got a sleigh and but some empty bags on it.

Squidward then shouted "Get!"

Then his robotic reindeer began to fly.

After a short fly the first house came.

"This is stop number one!" The old squidley claus grinned as he climbed to the top with empty bags in his hand.

It was tight going down the chimney but if Santa could do it so could Squidward. He got stuck only once for a minute or two.

Then his head came out the fire place under little stockings.

"These stockings." He grinned. "Are the first things to go."

Then he slithered through the house right into the living room with the Christmas tree.

One by one he took every present. Bicycles, toy truck and electronics!

Then he stuffed them all in bags and threw them up the chimney one by one onto the sleigh.

 _You're mean one._

 _Mr. Squidward._

 _You really are a jerk!_

 _You're an evil sea urchin._

 _And you drive a broken boat._

 _Mr. Squidward._

 _You're soul is an barrel of atomic waste._

 _With a horrible smell._

 _In an abandoned power plant._

Then he went into the kitchen.

He went into the fridge

He took the kelp pudding.

He took the coral beast!

He cleaned up the freezer as quick as a flash.

Why he even took the last can of beans.

Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney right onto his sleigh.

Then after that he was about to stuff up the Christmas tree.

"I'll stuff up the tree!"

Then he heard a sound.

He turned around and he saw a citizen.

Little SpongeBob SquarePants who was no more that five feet tall.

He started at Squidward and said:

"Santa why are you taking my Christmas tree?"

But you know that Squidward is very cleaver. He thought of a lie and he thought it quick.

"Why my sweet little sponge" The fake Squidley Claus said.

"There's a lite on this tree that won't lite on one side. So I'm taking it back to my workshop. I'll fix it up there and I'll bring it back here."

Then he gave SpongeBob a cup of water and set him to bed.

When SpongeBob was in bed he stuffed up the tree.

And then the last thing he took was the log for his fire.

On the walls he left nothing but some hooks and some wire.

And the only food he left in the house was a crumb.

That was even too small for a mouse.

Then he went to the next house taking more that the town's people wouldn't forget.

 _You're a mean one._

 _Mr. Squidward_

 _You really are a jerk!_

 _The three words that best describe you are..._

 _Mean._

 _Miserable._

 _Spoiled._

Finally he finished gathering all present and everything from the town.

He then flew his sleigh back to his house close to dawn with the citizens still asleep.

"He he it's almost morning!" Squidley Claus said.

"They're about to find out that there'll be no Christmas! And I know just what they'll do. Everyone will have there mouths open wide for a minute or two and then they'll all cry. Bo ho."

"That's something I must hear!"

Squidward put a hand to his ear.

And he did hear a sound.

But this sound wasn't sad.

This sounded glad.

Everyone in Bikini Bottom was signing and cheering.

He didn't stop Christmas from coming it came just the same way.

Squidward with his squidley feet ice cold in the snow.

"How could this be so!"

"It came without presents!"

"It came without light!"

"It came without trees and fires!"

The more he thought over this.

Then Squidward realized something.

Maybe he thought Christmas doesn't come from a store.

Why Christmas means just a little more.

Then what happened?

Well what in Bikini Bottom they say.

Squidward's grew three sizes that day.

And then the true meaning of Christmas came.

And Squidward found the strength of ten Squidward's plus two.

Then he hoped on his sleigh and he ran into town.

He brought back their presents their lights.

He brought everything back that would make everyone happy.

And then Squidward himself cut the coral beast.

THE END


End file.
